When people tell me there are feeling stuck, the underlying cause is usually that they are holding back. And the underlying cause of that, is that you don’t really know what you could achieve. So you do nothing, for fear of wasting time, or ‘getting life wrong’.
What do you desire?
Another big cause of holding back and feeling stuck is when you don’t know what you would really love to achieve. That stems from not knowing what you *could* achieve, if you dared attempt it.
How many times have you thought to yourself, “Who am I do say I’m going to do *that*?” And then decided that it’s too big for someone like you to dream of achieving and settled safely back into your comfort zone. But try as you might to ignore it, the desire is still there. It niggles away in the background, keeping you feeling stuck.
Feeling stuck going round in circles
You’re not sure what you can achieve, and you’re not sure what you would love to make happen. Each uncertainty feeds off the other – not knowing if you could even do it stops you allowing yourself to dream of achieving it. And being unclear of what you’d really love robs you of the confidence to do anything about it.
The whole thing feels like some never-ending circle of confusion and frustration, doesn’t it?
The chicken or the egg?
Which should you deal with first, unclear ability or unclear desire? To be honest, it doesn’t matter.
If not being clear on what you’re capable of and not knowing what you want both feed off each other, then clarifying either of them will break the circle. So you deal with the one that feels easiest to get some clarity about.
Feeling brilliant, being brilliant
To shift feeling stuck due to not knowing what you’re brilliant at, think about some times in your life when things have been going great. When you’re at your most powerful, everything just seems to flow.
So see if you can identify some times when life felt easy and it seemed like anything was possible. Then reflect on what you were doing right then, and more importantly, who you were being.
Here are some more posts about finding your genius
Knowing what matters
To break out of feeling stuck due to not knowing what you’d love to make happen, take a moment to identify what inspires or irritates you. One of those – possibly both – contains a clue about what really matters to you.
Once you know what matters, it’s quite a short step to knowing what you are willing to do to make it happen. In fact, once again it’s about what you are BEing, more than what you do. So this exercise will help you understand who you are willing, and able, to become.
This post on the mission statement for your life might also help.
Revolution, not resolution, stops you feeling stuck
As I write this we’re approaching the end of a decade. I would love for you to start off the New Twenties not with some trite New Year resolution, that you’ll probably break around mid-February anyway. Instead, you can start with a revolution in the desire you are willing to conceive, believe, and then achieve.
And if you’ve found this later in the year, you do know that your personal revolution doesn’t have to be driven by the calendar, don’t you? Today, as they say, is the first day of the rest of your life. Make it a good one.
Find a nice quiet place, take out your favourite notebook, and start writing, about your brilliance and your desires. You’ll soon feel a whole lot less stuck!
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Photo by Green Chameleon on Unsplash